My closest friends know… they know that I am very quiet and confident on the important things, when they relate to me…
I am not sure if I am actually what qualifies as a good listener, I think I am quite opinionated when it comes to other people sharing their views and problems, but I do listen to what they say and I suppose that I just become rather ’shy’ when it comes to the serious stuff that relates to me!
I have realized the other day that I have spent all my previous relationships pretending that everything was always fine and perfect, and would always voice this to the world, probably in the hope that it would become reality, mostly I would not voice so much the problems in the fear that they would become real, so my relationships always failed right at the end to everyone, including me.
There aren’t and there have never been perfect relationships and I have never believed in these either, I guess my pride and lack of trust in voicing my own problems and concerns just made it all look completely different from what it was.
A few days ago I realized that I am now part of a very real relationship, with a little bit of everything but mostly that it is between two human beings that love each other and that are trying to make it work the best they can… and is it not this what it is all about? Isn’t the world about people together? Fighting, working, striving, living towards the same goal??
So I guess, that in a way, I have found another little bit of myself and of my own world - the world where I am no longer trying to walk the way alone, where I am not so independent, where I am not holding so tight… I have faith that there is someone else there to catch me if I fall…