it’s a funny thing time! you just can’t control it! one day it’s on your side and the next it’s just your worst enemy… i think the later actualy happens more often.
as a child you can’t wait for time to fly, you want to grow up and be free and independent like you assume all adults are! as an adult you want it to go slowly, suddenly time really does fly and you look back and think of all the things you set as dreams and goals and you haven’t achieved yet! and everyday seems to go faster and you suddenly feel that you may have to choose between your dreams and goals because you won’t ‘have time’ to make it all happen!
in other circumstances where ‘time heals everything’ you think that it drags and here you do want it to go fast, you think that by the time you reach the ‘end of the highway’ you won’t be feeling like this any longer… most of the times you think that you will have forgotten all about it by then!
i always knew i would never and that i will never forget about it! i never forget anything, and in a way i am quite happy to be able to look back in life and remember all the moments, the big ones and the little details. it’s part of who i am, it is my time, what i made of it.
sometimes time plays a little joke with you though… when you look back and can see what you didn’t then! it happened to me last week. suddenly i was back in one of the most defining moments of my life, i saw it and felt it step by step, and all i could think about was ‘how did i do it then?’, would i be able to do it again? i was looking at myself getting on a long plane journey, that in any one’s mind would be the longest and hardest journey ever! i had plain conscience that it was the ‘end’ of the journey, and still… i still can’t understand how i managed so many hours on my own without shedding a tear or loosing it completely! i looked back at the whole situation last week and it just doesn’t seem real to me… how do i react to things?! most people would have been crying their eyes out on the next passenger’s shoulder!
but i waited… without realizing it i waited and my only tears lasted a few minutes and waited 16 hours until i reached my dad’s shoulder! and it’s just amazing how the person that have always made me so strong is also the one, and probably the only one, that can make me so weak, or better said, that i can be weak with!
most people would like a time travel machine, i wouldn’t! there is nothing to change in the past… and as much as sometimes it is unsettling to look back, to try to figure everything out, it’s a good past that brought me to this present! and as curious as i am, how boring would it be to know exactly where we would be tomorrow?!