most people don’t want to look back, and they think they are looking ahead…
i don’t look back all the time but i have done, and if i hadn’t i wouldn’t be going forward never mind looking ahead…
it’s a funny thing the future because no matter what, no one can predict it and if there is something i have learnt is to never take anything for granted, the good and the bad things!
i don’t look back at anything with regret or frustration simply because it brought me here right where i am today! and boy, has this been a journey! of course it is not and it is far from being the end of the road but it not longer seems foggy… i have realized that in order to know yourself you need to open up and give yourself to know to others… in reality you are what you give and what you let others see - your fantasies, your demons, your thoughts and feelings only have a chance of becoming reality if they are shared and made known…
so when you ask me, my darling not to go back to the past, i won’t if it bothers you. but i am not going back to the past, it is not only impossible but is also against my wish as the present feels right! but the past made me who i am today, not only the past that you don’t want to hear about but all of it, the whole 26 years of existence! had things happened in a different way, better or worse, you might have not been able to request that i do not do so! i might not see you and appreciate you the way i do because i would have never been able to see as far as i do now!
what is important is where we are today… and today like for the past few months you have made me smile and enjoy life and most importantly i have always been myself as i believe you have too…
so in reality we are sure of the past because we have lived it, we are pretty confident with the present (although sometimes it does feel like pinching myself), as for the future we can only dream and perhaps share it in the hope that it will come true… in the end, my darling, it all comes together!